yesterday was fun! met dear before we had dinner at Holiday Inn Park View buffet dinner! lol yea we are not that rich man, it's a 1 for 1 buffet, that's why he agreed to bring me along. the dinner was great, it suited me since it's Asian cuisine (: after that walked around PS then went home already. actually i dont mind going anywhere for dinner, it's the company that matters (:

today! had training, still alright, then celebrated shermaine's birthday! me sherm ether shan dyane claudia melo and peck came, ate at some shop in e!hub. nice nice (: then cut cake, and present! pictures soon. i promise. arcade after that, was fun. and after a looong day, i got my mom to pick me up from tampines :P LAZY.

right. now more serious stuff. i realised i always make people angry, or maybe just dear. but im glad things are alright now, and i'm very worried for him cause he's sick and he's like having headache during training ): take care and recover soon! :D
&&&& i just wanna apologise for whatever i've done, maybe i went overboard. but yea 雨过天晴already. i will never forget what happened. 我爱你。

Qin signed off @11:36 PM

WOOHOO I CONQUERED ANOTHER TEN ROUNDS AROUND THE SPORTS HALL TODAY!

haha okay la i know it means nothing to some people all there, but at least i tried my best. it's the effort that counts man. :D
argh self praise is no praise oops. :P

Qin signed off @10:10 PM

ponned school today, went dear's hse instead. and so coincidentally, according to sihui my love, us & her & yx & bh didnt go school today! means only ty went. ohman i feel so guilty. slacked today, didnt wanna do anything so we nua till late afternoon. then dear and i decided to go NUM to get our slippers ^^ have been saving up for 2 weeks, lol expensive leh, 100 bucks ):

so yupp went to citylink and got the same pair, which surprisingly cost 60+ bucks only. and the guy said if we buy a 3rd item, the 4th will go free. SO after considering, we decided to get another pair for each of us but different design. total was $105.70, xin tong man. T.T but from another point of view, i saved up because i wanted to buy. haha yeap i'm glad he liked it. (:

after that dear treated me to movie, so i chose hsm3. this is a must watch man. it's damn cool. and it's quite sad at some of the parts. and i cried cause i thought of dear going overseas to study and i'm all alone. i'll miss him of course, so i better pray he cannot make it for overseas scholarship! oops jkjk, i want him to do well (:

anyway yesterday was deepavali, hol for me! busy for dear of course (obvious), so went town with sister! hahah rare occasion. so yeap she wanted to buy a handbag so walked and walked and walked.. went to LV and COACH before she finally settled on GUCCI. which freaking costs 730 bucks la, think she very rich sia. we then moved on to buy our flats but silly us left our BHG voucher at home and it expires today. so, we went all the way back to tamp, but sad to say, BHG got nothing nice, so went other shop and buy instead. costs me 19.90, but heng i'm not the one paying. :P

walked around, dinner, then went t dear's hse cause he wanna see me in dress >.< and then i was damn suay. when i reach bedok interchange,
- 33 just left
- i waited, but no one was queueing and the other 33 had no signs of leaving
- walked to mrt to cross underpass to take other buses from e other side
- the other 33 started its engine(!)
- ran back but too late, it left, AGAIN.
sucks la, so i crossed the road and took 2 instead. dear was happy to see me (i think), and his mom was soo excited cause i finally looked feminine since i always wear fbts & slippers. :P yeap i'm glad both of them liked it :D

tmrw is last day of school! issueing of results slips and submission of I&R. school said half day. YIPPEE!! gotta see my friends for last time till OP and chalet, and then not seeing till next yr. take care ppl! i'm happy t promote as a class!

Qin signed off @11:32 PM

OMG there was this malay guy waving at me just now. and i dun even know who is that. lame shit. and he looked really excited. siao.

hmm i was terribly wrong. i do miss you after all (:

Qin signed off @10:11 PM

i'm currently sooo bored that i went to look at my old old old chat messages on msn. and there i was reading last year's msges, letting the good old memories fill my mind again. AH good that msn has this msg history thing, it has captured people's feelings and thoughts word by word.
But now when you revisit it, you will sadly realise that those promises ppl made then, are all worthless now. COMPLETELY WORTHLESS. because either people dont keep by it, or the feeling has already long gone.

Qin signed off @2:13 PM

WHOO I'M SO HAPPY WE FINALLY HANDED IN OUR WRITTEN REPORT! ahh finally man, all the days and weeks of meetings and editting and whatnots, it has finally ended! lol not that i did alot, but yea it's still a group work. all the last minute work, all the meetings and discussions, all the unhappiness between grp members.. i dont wanna experience it anymore. oh and yesterday my group leader was damn cool! to save time queueing at ZAP for printing, he brought his own big printer to school! omg la really saved us alot of time. and he brought along his spare ink incase not enough. (: and jasper of course, he brought extra papers and empty disks! haha heng sia none of us rmbed the disk thing la o.o so yupp pw is coming to an end.. left with i&r and op! jiayou ppl!

watched BURN AFTER READING last week, omg it sucked to the max. hah didnt understand the movie la, so boring. luckily i didnt pay for the tickets :P i wanna watch HSM3! haha soon when i have the time.

things between us are not going very smoothly..maybe it's my fault. i dunno why. i used to love getting up early in the morning and taking 28 alone to your house. but now, i'm just too lazy to do anything. why am i like that. and now i dont mind not seeing you for a few days.. argh. i dunno wad will happen if you go overseas. i hope nothing now will change in the future =/

Qin signed off @10:41 AM

today.. shan't comment much. just that i made a terrible mistake somewhere.
met bf at 3, went t his house, and turned out that he had to teach some girl maths. so yea the girl came, he tutored her while i do my work. after which we went to had chicken rice and he sent me home.

seems like bf gets the wrong info.. didnt mean that way. i just need time to think, to really sit down and think. getting confused over many things, and i dunno why. the past, the present.. why am i even putting them together? i think im being unfair to him. today's attitude really sucked, im really sorry, alot of things were going on in my mind. i knew it was the same for you too, just that you didnt wanna let me know. but yes, you finally told me, and i aint surprised you get that info from me. judging from the way i treat you. today was terrible. )':

"you know what is worse than rejecting? it's accepting and then dumping me." ah. i didnt know what to say after you told me that. no i'm not doing that, cause i have think through things i believe. i was happy i get to talk to him this afternoon, i mean he's just a good friend whom i haven talked to for a long time. but silly me have funny thoughts going on in my mind, thoughts that made me crazy, thoughts that made me lose my sense, thoughts that doesnt even make sense in the first place. you must have known what the thoughts were, i know you could sense, that's why you got the wrong info. i admit, the chat this aftnn kinda reignited the spark within me, but i just wanna let you know, it just stopped there. nothing more.

now that i have gather my thoughts, i just wanna apologise for getting those thoughts in my head, because i know they will never ever come true. not that he wont choose me, it's because i have chosen you. and nothing will change that. sorry to make you feel insecure, i promise not to do it again.

Qin signed off @12:57 AM

was blog hopping cause i was really bored, and then i happened to chance upon eug's blog. read through her archives, and saw some of the things that made me sit down and think.

"For hours or almost the whole day of feeling happy each time, but just that 10minutes of unhappiness made the whole day feel like it was nothing.
That whatever overwhelming happiness got replaced by the memory of the 10 min or less of unhappiness.." quoted from eug. (sorry eug!)

how true.. i'm always in this situation. no matter how happy we were throughout the day, just cause you said smth that irritate me can ruin the whole day. it's acty funny that people always remember the unhappy stuff instead of the happy ones. lik parents always rmb how you flunk your tests but they never rmbed that you scored A in an exam. i hate it whenever this happens.. but how can i not get angry when you pissed me off? and then you get upset cause i get angry.. and the cycle goes on. and the night carries on with us getting mad at each other and no one making the effort to solve the problem. i really hope this will come to an end soon, i dont like it.

just feeling confused now, so many things going on in my head. reading eug's blog kinda affect my mood. LOL. so i asked na if it was right for us to get together. i guess he was shocked and angry ba..and asked if i wanna break up with him. maybe he was over sensitive, i didnt mean it that way. just wondering what will happen if we are just friends now. dont worry, im happy with you now.

i wonder if i can get over the past..

Qin signed off @1:13 PM

pictures as promised!


my blue black after pushups on the hard floor. sheesh im too weak haha.
my 12th piglet (: but i still want more. ^^

tjbt (:

our new board! nice right!

failed attempt ):

nevermind im more impt :P

fell asleep during discussion for board deco. =.=

finally woke up after realising someone is taking his photo! BUT...

went back to sleep AGAIN. pig. >.<
my love's bear! from her twin hahah.

more pics coming up! yay!

Qin signed off @10:33 PM

school this week is just a waste of time. seriously. teachers not coming to class, saying that they are letting us do pw. lol like that might as well dont go sch. but yea at least i get to see my friends. these few days have been going home at 1230, lessons are mostly cancelled -.-

haiz it's been a week since training started, i hope there's more sparring whn trng resumes in school. i dont like the drills and pt. had muscleache after monday's 150 pushups, tues's mass pe did 20, then thurs another 30 for not wearing group pe shirt, and then another 90 during trng. omg. are we that despo to train our fitness? lol
mrsgoh wants a studyplan for those who signed up for ogl. what if we dont get in? haha no point anymore right. and berita harium is coming up, im partnering shan again! lol. so lame la, everybody has to go on the first day and clap hands for the guest-of-honour, get the tee, then we know our fixtures. so ridiculous! that means before that we dont even know who's our opponents luh. crap.

ahh hols' gonna be busy. ogl camp(if i get in), then badmtn trng camp, class chalet, op, revision, trng, berita harium, outing with girls, and not forgetting time for bf. oh i wanna go night safari! haha dunno la, see how i die next year. :D

ooh i got to take pictures from ether and sihui! will post them soon.

Qin signed off @7:56 PM

life is a torture to me. everyone around me doesn't know how i truly feel, except for one or two i guess. i really feel like dying now, but no, im not showing it, im gonna appear strong to everyone else.
to you, if you know who you are & i dont think you dont, i hate you. you dont deserve my respect, and i think many of the others too. you do things that make people hate you to the max, but nope i wont show you. i detest the things that you do, i detest you, and your character. i dont respect you, and in fact you dont deserve ANY of my respect.

anyway, thanks swee for just now, really talked alot, and i felt really comfortable. only she knows how i feel about things, i feel relieved saying everything out. yes indeed, good friends are hard to find, especially those you can confide in, and will keep your secrets. thank you baobei.

i dont know how long more i can hang on for.
i tried my best. and i really wished you can figure out how i feel, if you know me well enough.

Qin signed off @9:36 PM

ahhhh a new week. haha i'm crazy already. anyway, training started today, was super mundane and tiring. did so much pt & i had a blue black due to too many push ups on the floor -.- omg i almost gave up la, but luckily it got better towards the end.

haiz anyway studied in school abit before training, guess this is the start of my revision timetable. hahah. need to chiong already.
OH and 3rd op on wednesday. and i need to do my I&R soon. lolz.

OHHHHH people dont buy vanilla milkshake from the bubbletea shop opp. school. it's damn horrible. yucks.

ps. hope yahan's alright.

Qin signed off @11:29 PM

I'm a crybaby.

Qin signed off @11:24 PM

what's the use of crying when nobody cares?

i think guys shouldnt make girls cry. Not that i cried though.

OH and. I HATE guys who smoke, & i LOVE guys who can play the piano. Guitar is too common already. Maybe if you can like do gymnastics or dance ballet, I 'll be more impressed. Haha.

Qin signed off @6:34 AM

just had op, total screwed up. haha mr kwan said, "i can see that you all only rehearse once then come out and present right" omg me and jasper were laughing cause we didnt rehearse at all.
LOL.

and yupp all results are back, econs S, GP pass but dunno actual grade yet. bf did well for econs though, got D, and GP was alright la, not that he's gonna fail but he was quite sad about it. so yupp shall see moderation and all. & Ms Dian is a bad woman cause she dont wanna help us add more cp marks to improve one grade.

OH sihui's damn funny! we were asked to write the gp tutor's name on our paper so we wrote "Ms Dian", but blur sihui wrote "Ms Diane". and the marker circled the name and wrote "who is that?"
omg sihui so funny!

ahh pw for now, last minute preparation for op but thought was alright for first-timer. jiayou tmrw then :D

Qin signed off @4:45 PM

yesterday was a special day for me and bf. hahah gave me a surprise message at 12am yesterday, cos he actually told me that's going to sleep at 1035pm AHHH was really surprise to see that sms. keep on smiling to myself. so as usual, yesterday was a school day. was expecting econs paper but postponed to today instead. shall await my results for gp and econs in a few hours time. :P

so yesterday, had plans to go out already, and there came a sudden pw meeting that we have to present op today. so we had to rush through our slides and script. had chem lec from 440-530 yesterday acty, but i skipped that to complete my slides so that i can go out with bf afterwards. buddha bless me, i managed to complete before they finished the lecture. so yupp we then proceed to suntec.

a new place for us, as in we haven really been there for a long time, cause we are always stuck in the east side, esp tampines hahha. had pepper lunch, first time there, was not bad, the chicken was nice (: after that was movie HOUSE BUNNY. nice show. woah the girls inside all damn hot. no wonder bf enjoyed it hahah :P after the movie was quite late but bf asked if i wanted to walk around. i was surprised since its so late alr, but i agreed without suspecting anything. so yeap we went to toys r us. and well, surprise no. 2, bf bought a piglet soft toy for me! lol was sooo happy la, really very happy. thanks dear.

headed home after that, bf sent me home though it's late alr. hahah happy. so at 12am today, he gave me a surprise call. haha was surprised again. i realised he's very good at planning surprises! good good cause i love surprises! :D reached home, bathed, then it's pw again. chiong-ed my script. hope it's alright.

so yea, i just wanna say thank you to him for planning all the surprises, i really enjoyed myself today (of coz your treat to dinner & movie was a bonus! :P) cause i get to spend time with you. really hope we can have more of these outings, but of course studies come first. hahah. but i really wana thank dear for making my day yesterday, really appreciated it. i was smiling so happily when i saw the piglet la, didnt expect you to buy it, so when you agreed t buy i was even happier hahaha. lastly, i enjoyed every moment spent with you, and it's all worth it no matter how tired i was. the smile on your face is the most impt to me. i love you. (:

Qin signed off @12:42 AM

yes this is what i wanted. a simple blogskin with big words so it's easy to see.

somehow i love blogging now, just have the temptation to keep typing and typing and typing. guess i need a place to vent my frustrations.

SCREW PROMOS.
& bye bye world

Qin signed off @11:44 PM

disappointed. it's all i can say. yes results are back, very disappointing indeed. now even promoting becomes a problem. no im not grumbling or complaining, i know i deserve what i've got. all the slacking and procrastinating. my classmates have done well, esp those closet muggers. seeing them getting disappointed at their Bs and Cs and wondering why isnt it an A, i seriously got nothing to say. im nowhere near them. i do have high expectations, but they've dropped after doing the paper, but not to the standard where my grades are standing now. dont know how im gonna break the news to my parents, guess i will just keep quiet till they ask. maybe tell them when all the moderation and addition of class participation & jct are done. results might look better that way. and yes im regretting why didnt i pay attention in class or do my tutorials properly. or even treat the teachers better. now i have a lower chance of getting high cp marks.

hols, they arent much of a holiday to me anymore. firstly pw is already killing me, and there's lots and lots of revision to be done. today when taking back chem paper, mr goh tried to be encouraging i guess, and said, " oh you didnt fail very very badly, i've seen worse. like single digits" yea thanks spiderman, but the results's still bad. and of course he said if youre gonna keep your h2 you have to revise and catch up and what nots. yes i know. and when i see the disappointed look in his face i really dont know what to say. feel bad that i haven put in my 100%, my utmost best into revising, feel bad that i didnt keep t my promise of revising well after jcts and assuring him i will do well. feel even worse when he still treats us very nicely, thinking that we will do well one day. but what he said today was really alarming, "looking at your results ah, i think i got nothing to celebrate ah" throughout the entire chem period, it was just a quiet time for me, for me to ponder on alot of stuff, for me to think think and think. luckily naresh didnt come to talk to me. he knew i was depressed in class, but he wants me to be strong by myself. yes i know it's for my own good, i dont blame him acty. in fact it's good cause i get to think through many things.
physics i shant comment, im positive that mr kwan will help me, but after all my lousy attitudes in his tut, im not sure now, but yes the cp marks is very important. and i acty agreed when kengee said that we slackened abit since we had the weekend to study for physics paper. and math. seriously disappointed cause i know i could have done alot alot alot better, instead of stumbling during the exam, looking at the paper and having mental block. spent alot of time looking around, staring into mid air. why, i dont know.

and now thinking about the team, it's pretty screwed. not that im the top scorer or anything, but compared to previous batches, out results are really horrible. i mean many people barely made it, or might promote conditionally, and there's mrs goh saying that you will be out of the team if you retain. i guess it's just a warning for people to study hard, but i think it didnt really help did it? dont know if she's really going out to do what she says, if yes i really dont wanna think of the consequences. boys team, i just hope they are alright, cause the girls are already a big trouble for mrs goh, and this never happened in history when girls did worse than guys. well we girls are history makers then. lol.

and there's pw. there was supposed to be a meeting just now, but i dont know where the 2 art people went, and my grp leader was too depressed to do anything. i dont know what t do, so i just walked off. felt bad so i just left my leader a msg, saying to call me if there's anything i can help. i dont really know my attitude for pw, it's kinda contradicting. went to have lunch just now, and told naresh im worried for op tmrw cause we haven dont anything yet. and he says go back sch after lunch then, but i said i dun want. i think im worried for pw but i dont wanna do anything about it. shit.

i spent a long time talking to bf just now. ah there's nth much he can do, his results were alright anyway. he made me sit down and listen to him, and says about his plan over the hols. i listened, yea it all makes sense but till then who knows i will really sit down and do what i've planned. easier said than done yea? but i will try to keep to my promise to him, i dont want him to feel disappointed. he told me, "i want you to be a good girl now, you know you are a bad girl not?" ahh yes i have been very bad indeed. whatever he says may sound funny, but yea it's true. i really need to learn. this is a lesson learnt, it has really hit me hard, real hard, just that i dont show it. looks like i really have to buck up already, no more slacking anymore. this lesson learnt..is a nightmare, how i wished i didnt have to learn it the hard way.

bf told me, "dont give up k, i will always be there for you, pw studies and everything else. i love you." and he gives me a hug. yes, this is the type of comfort that i need, knowing that there will always be someone there to support me, to help me. the hugs, the occasional i-love-you(s)...thanks. youve given me more than i deserve. now we have to work hard together, to catch up with whatever we dunno. i promise you my As for a level, i will keep to that. im lucky to have you with me, moral support i think is important for me now. ily. <3

i want 07/08 to promote as a class, and im sure we will. and the team too. let's hope no one gets left behind.

tmrw is AGAIN another disaster day. pw, econs paper. AHHH. so what if im not prepared. at most i will just breakdown in front of everybody. the consequence of not studying hard enough.
I'VE REALLY LEARNT MY LESSON. Buddha please bless me for the rest of my jc years.

Qin signed off @7:14 PM

ahhhh pw seriously sucks. shitz man.

but at least no more mugging sessions!
OH AND PIGLET IS DAMN CUTE MUAHAHAHAH.

&&&&&. imy.

Qin signed off @1:02 PM

HELLLOOOOOOO EXAMS ARE FINALLY OVER! But there's still pw, i seriously hate it. Like really really hate it. Sucks la. ):

So anyway, physics ended on Monday evening, and the 8 of us, me naresh sihui tanyin yuxuan weiliang james & felix went t YUKI YAKI at Marina Square. Well not exactly fantastic but still okay, we ate till we couldnt finish & had t play zhong ji mi ma & some guessing game that sihui suggested, where we have t guess the other team's secret character. Aiya dun like that game lah, so lame. Anyway the thing is to finish the food, and after that we went off already. & it's damn expensive.

Tuesday, went to Bugis with Naresh, and watched MAMMA MIA as recommended by my sister. I must say it's a nice show, but there's this auntie/girl in this cinema that's so disgusting and laughed so loudly. Pissed me off man. Oh and i saw the ad for HSM 3 & i thought it's quite nice, maybe i'll catch it some other day (:
After that headed to East Coast Park! Okay lah i haven been there for very long so im quite happy acty. Ate Gelare, & i think it's still quite expensive even though it's half price on tuesday. And there's a noisy group of kids that WAS damn irritating, i would have slapped them if I knew them, or at least tell them off.
Walked along the beach after a full serving of waffle and icecream, & then Naresh decided to eat hokkien mee again, so we headed for the lagoon. Was planning how to go home afterwards...until it suddenly started to rain damn heavily. Since we cant get out of the rain we had t wait, until it was really late so we decided to walk in the heavy rain to VS busstop. whoooooooo both of us are drenched! & cold >.< so reached home around 12 plus, had a hot water bath & SLEEEEEEEEEP!

Wednesday, was at first a girls out day to Sentosa, but due to some reasons i decided not to go & accompanied my sister to Ngee Ann City instead. We went straight to the COACH shop and looked around for super long and no one came to entertain us. I think cause we are kids & im wearing fbts. HAHAH that doesnt mean i dont have the money to buy okay, screw all those salesmen who look down on small kids. O.O
Finally after looking around for a long time, my sister bought a bag that costs 745. Hahahahah siao one waste so much money but yea it looks nice and it's branded. So we went t have chicken rice cause i suddenly had a craving for that, and guess what. It freaking cost 4.20. So expensive lah! & it's not even as nice as the one at bedok inter. Hahahah nah i shant complain now, i know they need to earn $$ too (:

So thursday, it's a SCHOOLDAY ): Went for pw op rehearsal and it's not our group yet and it's postponed to next tues. Good cause we have more time (: Slacked around today, nothing much acty. OH and some suay classes were selected to do some stupid test that lasted like 2 hours -.- I anyhow do then go and sleep alr. Hahaha.
After school, BANMIAN! with yx ty & naresh. Couldnt finish tday, dunno why. Haiz.

Results next week, I'm not prepared. And i'll never will.

Qin signed off @8:00 PM